Saturday, January 26, 2008

This Touched Me

One of my friends sent this to me and wanted to let me know they were prayin for me and this completely touched my heart! here is the prayer!

Dear Lord, thank You so much for our new friend, Shannon. she is awesome and all that You have done for her is awesome. Lord, we ask that You would give our new friend a special touch from heaven this Christmas. Blow her away with something totally unexpected and beautiful. We also ask, Lord, that You would seek out any broken, lost, or hurting piece of our friends heart. Search them out like fine gold, find them, and heal them, making her heart completely whole. Fill her house with great peace and much joy, that kind of joy that springs up from our inner being and is highly contagious. Meet every need Shannon has according to the riches found in Christ. When she grows weary carry her on Your wings to Your secret place and minister to her spirit and soul. Raise her up to be more than she ever imagined. Use her sweet spirit to reach others with Your love and compassion. Reveal Your great plan for her life and show her all the awesome things You're gonna do with it. Raise a banner to go before our friend to light every path and to scatter her enemies far away. Keep her family safe and let this new year be the best one ever. Finally Lord, remind Shannon every day how precious she is and how much You love her. Do all this in Jesus' wonderful name, amen.

ThAt oNe aNd OnLy gUy

So for the past few months now I have been on the topic of meeting the guy God has out there especially for me. But along with that topic the topic of waiting also comes along. I know that waiting will be so worth it and will make my relationship with "That Special Guy" so much better. I think about him everyday, and long to be in his arms and to spend time with him. I think for the most part I have done pretty well on not focusing in looking for the right guy, and looking for a relationship.....I have been spending time with friends, and family. I also believe that when I start looking for someone to be in a relationship with I 99.9% of the time fail.......Reason being that its not on my timing that things will happen its on Gods timing....so looking gets me ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE! I know the type of guy I want, and the type of guy I will fall so COMPLETELY hard for. God knows the desires of my heart so I know that he will put that person in my life. I know that when that guy walks into my life that has the looks that make me turn my head, and the personality that makes my heart melt, and the fire in his heart for God that amazes me......than I will know that this is My one. But most of all one of that description that I am not searching for.....that he just COMES into my life. That will be the guy I am to be with. God knows what I am looking for or shall I say waiting for and I am confident that he will put a guy with the looks I am looking for.....and the kindness i am looking for....and the passion for him that i am looking for! I know that God already has that guy out there for me that has the looks and personality and everything I want. Now I all need to do is sit back and wait for God to put him in my life. The fact that I have not met him yet tends to drag me down sometimes but I always have to remember GOD has EVERYTHING under control and that God has that guy already picked out...... somewhere out in this world for me. So I try not to be discouraged. I am confudent God will place him in my life soon, and I am ABSOLUTELY STOKED for it.

Family Force 5 Lyrics

So my Uncle got my Dad this C.D. from a Band called Family Force 5 for his birthday and I listened to it and I thought they were pretty awesome. So I found out they were coming and Meredith and I decided to go see them! I am hooked they are an awesome band and They rocked the house at their performance! This has become one of my favorite songs by them!! I Really really like it and just think its amazing lyrics!!

Replace Me

My Batteries died sometime ago
Gotta heart shaped box where they must go
Corrosion's building everyday
My flesh is leading me astray that's why I started to decay and I will slowly rot away
but I can't feel that anyway This heart it wants to beat
These Lungs they want to breathe
These eyes they wants to see
Gotta Mouth that wants to sing Desperation
Needing U
Every last breath
I scream for you
Shatter me into a million pieces...Make me new
Crush me, tear me, break me, mold me
Make me what U want me to be
I am ur's for U to use
Oh, Take and Replace me with U
Needing more than just a jump start to get me through
My disconnection is now the issue.....
I miss my 1st love bad and its driving me mad
Just Like a mixed up crazy person out of his head
Its been a long long time I've been on the decline
I do an a-bout face so I can be replaced. 180!!! This heart it wants to beat
These Lungs they want to breathe
These eyes they wants to see
Gotta Mouth that wants to sing
Desperation
Needing U
Every last breath
I scream for you
Shatter me into a million pieces...Make me new
Crush me, tear me, break me, mold me
Make me what U want me to be

What I Have Come To Realize

Have not written in a while...so I thought it was about time!

So basically I have been prayin and thinkin alot lately. I think about what an emotional roller coaster I have been on throughtout my life. I was talkin to a friend at work telling him all that I have been through and He said "I don't get how you can be the nicest, sweetest girl considering all you have been through" Which made me happy that he things I am so kind. I told him I just put a smile on and to look at me you couldn't tell I have been through alot. There is no point in moping around dwellin on things of the past the only thing that matters is the present, and the future. So Just put a smile on and to the world its as if you have been through nothing. So Just thought I would share that talk with that kid,

Also, I have realized that when it comes to relationships I have been pretty confused. I know I should not be lookin for someone to be with because God will put that person in my life when the time comes. But before I was prayin about it and all and when I find myself struggling and lookin for someone when I think about it I at that point am only looking for Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right. I realize I will not find Mr. Right until the "RIGHT" time comes. When God thinks I myself am fully prepared for it, and when he thinks my Mr. Right is fully prepared as well.I have learned I just got to throw my hands down and put it all in Gods hands. I am on and off with it I will be doin good but then I struggle so I really do need to hands down give it to God! I have been hurt by so many boys its beginning to really get annoying and I always start to think that there probably is not a decent nice guy out there and it hurts but hey its probably Gods way of slappin me in the face telling me to just leave it to him and he will provide a decent guy for me. Waiting is the hard part....but I know God will greatly reward me for it. You have to go through some of the wrong ones before you meet the right one, and trust me I have had my share of wrong ones. I think of it this way...If I don't wait if I did date someone I would be settling for second best and why settle for second best when GOD has the best for me...I was talkin to a friend and she explained it to me like that, and I realized how true that was. I also know I have to be okay with myself and love myself or I will never be able to love someone else. So I strongly believe that the waiting part helps a big part in that. It sort of forces me to go out and do things on my own.....which makes me okay with myself which is good. The time will come for me to meet that guy, its just on Gods time Not Mine. So I just take the time to go do things on my own, and with close friends, and with family. So yeah....those of you I have sought out for advice thanks...and just continue to keep me in your prayers!
God Bless...Be Moved


(sorry this blog was kinda jumbled up just had to say it all haha)

*AmAziNg SoNg LyrIcs*

(These lyrics are simply amazing. This is such an encouraging song I heard it the other day and I absolutely love it)

Stand in The Rain

She never slows down
She doesn't know why but,
She knows that when
Shes all alone, it feels
Like its all, coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries
That first tear
The tears will not stop
Raining downSo stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when its all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day whats lost can be found
You stand in the rainShe won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
If she stands, she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through
Everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie downSo stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when its all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day whats lost can be found
You stand in the rainSo stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when its all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day whats lost can be foundSo stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when its all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

*EvErYtHiNg Is So CrAzY*

(I apologize ahead of time but this blog is going to be all over the place because I am just kinda talkin about everything in it so try to make sense of it all)
The Song on my myspace totally explains how I have been feeling lately. Alot of things are not going the way I would like them to go right now. I have so many mixed emotions going on right now. Confusion, Hurt, Anger, Sadness, etc. I feel like everything is just crashing down. But I am tryin to hold my head up high and stay strong. I have been feelin so lonely. Its like everyone around me as someone they are happy with and everything is great, and I am alone. Yet I know I am never truly alone because God is always with me. I have decide to give it all to him, my relationship and walk with God has been gettin so much better. I know I have gone astray but we all do. I am just glad God has grabbed hold of me again and that it is kind of like a new start.
Its My daddys birthday today. Happy birthday daddy. Not to mention it is going to be his 7 years sober on the 28th so he is super stoked about that. My dad and I may not have the best relationship but we are gettin there. I truly love him with everything I have. He is an extraordinary person. What he has been through and that fact that he is still here with me today is amazing. He is seriously living proof of a miracle! He is truly one of my heroes. He may not believe it but he really is. I know that I mean the world to him and all he wants is a better relationship with me. It breaks my heart to think that he thinks I don't cherish the relationship I do have with him. I am so thankful that he is here for me to even have a relationship with. I love you Dad! (I was listening to the song Zoe Jane by Staind as I was writing this that is like My Dad and I's song but could not find it to put on my blog so here are the lyrics)

Zoe Jane
"Well, I want you to noticeTo notice when Im not aroundAnd I know that your eyes see straight through meAnd speak to me without a sound I want to hold youProtect you from all of the thingsI've already enduredAnd I want to show youShow you all the thingsThat this life has in store for youIll always love youThe way that a fatherShould love his daughterWhen I walked out this morningI cried as I walked to the doorI cried about how long Id be away forI cried about leaving you all aloneI want to hold youProtect you from all of the thingsI've already enduredAnd I want to show youShow you all the thingsThat this life has in store for youIll always love youThe way that a fatherShould love his daughterSweet Zoe JaneSweet Zoe JaneSo I wanted to say thisCause I wouldn't know where to beginTo explain to you what I've been throughTo explain where your daddy has beenSo I want to hold youProtect you from all of the thingsI've already enduredAnd I want to show youShow you all the thingsThat this life has in store for youIll always love youThe way that a fatherShould love his daughterSweet Zoe JaneSweet Zoe Jane"

I think it is amazing how people can change. One day you could think they are the most awesome person ever, then the next they decide they don't want anything to do with you. Do people think about how they are going to make others feel before they do things like that. Its amazing how a person can make you so happy and than simply shatter it all by simply deciding that they don't want to talk to you anymore.It ridiculous.
Isn't it simply amazing how one person can make you so happy and they don't even realize it! Just talkin to them makes you happy, the thought of just spending time with them makes you smile. Just everything bad seems to be non existant when you hang around this person. The thing about this is that this could very possibly be the person God has chosen just for me. Or it could not be. Waiting is all part of it, and I will just have to let time tell if it is the right person or not. If its not then I suppose something will go wrong just like with all the others. I will just have to stay on my knees in prayer about it.
So as some things are going good and others are not going so good just please keep me in prayer. Especially those of you that know the bigger details of why I am sad, angry, happy, etc. I appreciate the prayers and I need all I can get.
Always would like to say a Thank You to Tia and Hannah for mentoring me. Tia has been for a while and we don't get to get together much but when we do it really helps and she helped me get ALOT of stuff of my chest this past time. Hannah thanks to you as well for all that texting and talkin in mexico and all you've been a huge help to and I really appreciate it. I love you both dearly! Muah!
So I have being writing letters to my future husband that is somewhere out there i may have met him i may have not. But if god has done all the work on his heart as well as mine and we have both been patient than I think that we have probably met but only because it was gods timing. so here is the first letter. It was Written about the date of September 10, 2007
To My Husband,
I stayed up pretty late last night praying for you, and about you. Praying for God to continue to give you patience in waiting for your future wife the one he has prepared for you, and praying that God is continuing to work miracles in your heart and in your life and fully preparing you for the live you are living and will continue to live and for the man you are becoming and the Future husband you will become. Being alone is not my favorite thing but I know it will only serve me good in the end because I waited and had Patience and God will reward me greatly for that. I know that God has to work on my heart and all before he will even allow me to meet you. I need to be content with myself and being me before I can be with someone else. I know that waiting for you will be so worth it in the end because God is using this time to continue to work on my heart and life and my walk with him. Plus I am just continuing to grow and I am becoming a women of noble character that is talked about in Proverbs. A woman without these characteristics will make no wife at all. In the bible it says that a Noble Wife would have all these things. So while I am continuing to be patient in meetin my future husband I am growing in all these areas in every aspect. I know that when we do meet we will both be greatly rewarded for our patience and our relationship will be ten times better. I do long for the day I will meet you and get to be in your arms. But God has other things in store for us right now. until then patience is key. So as much as I long to be with you and be in your arms....it will happen but not until gods timing. So I am going to continue to pray for you and about you. I am going to pray that god works in your life and on your heart, and continues to mold you into the man you are becoming and the future husband you one day are going to be, and I also will pray that you continue to follow the lord and do his will for your life. I will also be praying for me that God will continue to mold me into the women I am becoming and the future wife I am one day going to be. I love you!

Love,
Your Wife

*Hello Everyone*

Well I offcially gave in and made a BlogSpot Account. I post most of my blogs on my myspace page but I am not sure that to many people see them that way. So on here at least people will see them.