Tuesday, September 23, 2008

*~* As Of Recently*~*

I been pretty busy lately between work Monday-Friday 8Am-5PM than School Mondays and Tuesday 7PM-10PM and School Fridays 5PM-730PM. I have not really had much time to do anything lately. Work is becoming very very stressful....defninitely turning into a full time job lol I mean there is alot of drama in my work place dumb people are bringing personal lives into the workplace and honestly i believe that needs to be dropped at the door. But whatever I keep my head up and try to stay above it all because lettin them get to me is exactly what they want and ha it is not going to happen. Also school is pretty good...been meeting some awesome new people and all my classes are pretty chill.

As far as me lately I again feel as though my walk with God is struggling. I mean I know I blogged bout this a few months ago....and I was getting better and Now i feel as though I am slippin again. I do not like the feeling when I myself realize that I am slippin up....if I myself am noticing it I often wonder what I come off like to other people. Honestly All I can do is try harder pray about it....find another wiser woman in the church that I trust that can maybe mentor me. Also all I can ask is that you keep me in your prayers. Its nothing major just slippin up with the kind of language I am using and Things like that and The attitude I have held lately.

If you have not already heard I am looking for an apartment with my friend Ziggy. He is a very good friend of mine....and I trust him very much...and I think he would be a good person that would be responsible with his payments and financial stuff and all..So we have been looking around at 2 bedroom apartments...So please keep us in your prayers that all that goes well. I mean my parents are not kicking me out But i am almost 20 and I have a fulltime job so I have the money to be ok on my own So i am not to worried bout it....Time for me to step into the world and spread my wings.. (thats wat daddy always says)

This weekend I will be going to Tucson to attend the Fall Ball Tour Which is basically the same lineup as EdgeFest thats coming here but a few minor differences. I am going with a friend Yessenia....she a cool girl works with my mom...It should be a really good time.

On a more personal and emotional level....Something that I went Through lately I feel has had a big affect on me in not such a positive way. It was something really stupid and one of those things you go back and think wow I wish that didnt happen....or something along the lines of that. Anyways I am left with nothing but the feelings of brokeness, and being used. Let me tell you those are not fun feelings to have. Some people know what the situation was a select few But they know who they are.....they are a few people from the church that I feel I can talk to about anything without them going off and tellin someone. To those people I greatly appreciate you taking the time to listen! As far as this situation that leaves me in tears with nothing but the feelings of brokeness and Being used...Please just pray for me that these feelings will go away and that God will just put his hand on the situation. God is truly the only one that can mend this feeling. So i just continue to Pray to him about it and If yall would Pray to that would be great.

Also....as far as everyone remembers lol I was kind of struggling with the whole area of having patience and waiting for "THE ONE" God chose for me to be with in marriage. I am becoming more and more ok with being single...yeah all my friends have boyfriends but most of them are just a waste...they will break their hearts in the end (trust me I have been through the situation more times than i care to count) But I have one friend imparticular that has been with her boyfriend for a while now....and she believes he is the one and I am so happy for her I mean she has expressed to me you just have to wait and be patient and not think about it....that she did just that and this amazing guy that is now her boyfriend came along...and I know that he makes her so happy just by the look on her face when she talks about him or even when someone mentions his name. I want what she has one day...I do believe as long as I am patient that it will happen. I recently bought a Book called "Wait For Me" its by singer/author Rebecca St. James and It is an awesome book....she is an amazing writer and it really is putting the idea of waiting and bein patient into a better perspective for me. So if any of you are going through similar thoughts or know someone who is i recommend this book. It really got me to thinking that My future husband is going to have to have forgiveness for alot of the things I have done before I met him....I feel as though I have let him down already and I dont even know him yet. I know that God will give him the Mind to understand, and Heart to forgive and Love. I am sure There are probably things I will need to forgive him for to...I mean no one is perfect. Especially when your young and stupid....people dont always make the wisest decisions.

well I think thats all for now...

Peace <3