*~* As Of Recently*~*

I been pretty busy lately between work Monday-Friday 8Am-5PM than School Mondays and Tuesday 7PM-10PM and School Fridays 5PM-730PM. I have not really had much time to do anything lately. Work is becoming very very stressful....defninitely turning into a full time job lol I mean there is alot of drama in my work place dumb people are bringing personal lives into the workplace and honestly i believe that needs to be dropped at the door. But whatever I keep my head up and try to stay above it all because lettin them get to me is exactly what they want and ha it is not going to happen. Also school is pretty good...been meeting some awesome new people and all my classes are pretty chill.

As far as me lately I again feel as though my walk with God is struggling. I mean I know I blogged bout this a few months ago....and I was getting better and Now i feel as though I am slippin again. I do not like the feeling when I myself realize that I am slippin up....if I myself am noticing it I often wonder what I come off like to other people. Honestly All I can do is try harder pray about it....find another wiser woman in the church that I trust that can maybe mentor me. Also all I can ask is that you keep me in your prayers. Its nothing major just slippin up with the kind of language I am using and Things like that and The attitude I have held lately.

If you have not already heard I am looking for an apartment with my friend Ziggy. He is a very good friend of mine....and I trust him very much...and I think he would be a good person that would be responsible with his payments and financial stuff and all..So we have been looking around at 2 bedroom apartments...So please keep us in your prayers that all that goes well. I mean my parents are not kicking me out But i am almost 20 and I have a fulltime job so I have the money to be ok on my own So i am not to worried bout it....Time for me to step into the world and spread my wings.. (thats wat daddy always says)

This weekend I will be going to Tucson to attend the Fall Ball Tour Which is basically the same lineup as EdgeFest thats coming here but a few minor differences. I am going with a friend Yessenia....she a cool girl works with my mom...It should be a really good time.

On a more personal and emotional level....Something that I went Through lately I feel has had a big affect on me in not such a positive way. It was something really stupid and one of those things you go back and think wow I wish that didnt happen....or something along the lines of that. Anyways I am left with nothing but the feelings of brokeness, and being used. Let me tell you those are not fun feelings to have. Some people know what the situation was a select few But they know who they are.....they are a few people from the church that I feel I can talk to about anything without them going off and tellin someone. To those people I greatly appreciate you taking the time to listen! As far as this situation that leaves me in tears with nothing but the feelings of brokeness and Being used...Please just pray for me that these feelings will go away and that God will just put his hand on the situation. God is truly the only one that can mend this feeling. So i just continue to Pray to him about it and If yall would Pray to that would be great.

Also....as far as everyone remembers lol I was kind of struggling with the whole area of having patience and waiting for "THE ONE" God chose for me to be with in marriage. I am becoming more and more ok with being single...yeah all my friends have boyfriends but most of them are just a waste...they will break their hearts in the end (trust me I have been through the situation more times than i care to count) But I have one friend imparticular that has been with her boyfriend for a while now....and she believes he is the one and I am so happy for her I mean she has expressed to me you just have to wait and be patient and not think about it....that she did just that and this amazing guy that is now her boyfriend came along...and I know that he makes her so happy just by the look on her face when she talks about him or even when someone mentions his name. I want what she has one day...I do believe as long as I am patient that it will happen. I recently bought a Book called "Wait For Me" its by singer/author Rebecca St. James and It is an awesome book....she is an amazing writer and it really is putting the idea of waiting and bein patient into a better perspective for me. So if any of you are going through similar thoughts or know someone who is i recommend this book. It really got me to thinking that My future husband is going to have to have forgiveness for alot of the things I have done before I met him....I feel as though I have let him down already and I dont even know him yet. I know that God will give him the Mind to understand, and Heart to forgive and Love. I am sure There are probably things I will need to forgive him for to...I mean no one is perfect. Especially when your young and stupid....people dont always make the wisest decisions.

well I think thats all for now...


Peace <3

*One Lil Miracle*

So I have been Listening to the Christian Radio Station Air1 Lately. It seems as though everytime I turn the station on I always hear this song on the radio by Hawk Nelson call "One Little Miracle" and each time I cant help but be blessed by the words. It really makes me thing Of Myself, My Mom and My Dad and Us as A family and Of course GOD. I mean the worst just give me chills everytime I hear it.


Now if you know My Family & I at all you know what we have been through together. What we have struggled through and overcome together with the prayers of our friends and family. With each others help and of course with Gods help. My daddy used to have a problem with Alcoholism. I mean it literally tore our family apart. We almost did not make it through it all together and even end up staying together as a family. But With Gods help my daddy overcame his addiction and My Mom was strong enough to do the things she had to do to get through it all. It is all such a miracle because Honestly had things not been overcome of fixed we would not be the family we are today shoot we would not even be a family (honestly we probably would be seperated) But God put his hand on the situation and fix everything and I am so grateful for that. With A Lil bit Of My MOM and a lil bit of My DAD and a lil bit of ME and ALOT of GOD this was all a miracle in the making and this is wat this song makes me thing about if you listen carefully to the words.



My Mom is honestly one of my heroes I look up to her so much. She is so amazing and The things she has been through and she still stands strong in her skin today! She is so strong and such an amazing person and I love her for it. She has taught me just by watching her that you need to be strong and Do what you Have to do, Sometimes it is not easy But you have to do it. I just think my Mom is amazing and I Thank God for her EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE!! I truly would not trade her for anything! She is my best friend and I dont know what I would do without her! I love her to death and I am so glad out of all the moms in the world I got her! She is great and I cant thank god enough for her.

Also, My Dad is my Heroe. If any of you know My Dad and I we do butt heads....OFTEN but its all out of tough love. Honestly no matter what cruel horrible things we say to each other in the middle of those stupid yelling fights I honestly dont mean them at all usually anger overtakes me.....because in all honesty I LOVE MY DADDY TO DEATH!! I also thank God for him everyday because he God not broken him free of his addiction he may not have been here today!! So I look at everyday my Dad is with me as a blessing because if things went differently things could have ended up way worse. I truely look up to him for everything he has gone through and overcome! It amazes me everyday how far he has come and I am SO THANKFUL for it!!

I love you MOM & DAD!!

*DragRaces*

So I went To the DragRaces Saturday Night to watch My Pal Sean Race his New Mustang. Its weird how something like cars and stuff can make you realize something about people. I Mean seriously its crazy as I was watching I was thinking wow some of these cars are really ugly On the outside but most of them smoked the newer pretty cars by a LONG SHOT!! I means its unreal how the ones that look better lose to the ones that look bad. Than I come to the realization Oh My Gosh people are like that. I mean It is on the Inside that counts. Like these cars they could look aboslutely old and awful on the outside but it is what is inside the car under the hood the counts, that is what makes the car. With people I mean you could not be the best lookin on the outside but its what is in your heart that counts. It is whats in your hear that makes you Who and What You are. So I just thought that was pretty cool that I thought of this analagy. It is So true though. I mean people these days usually take the though of an outward appearance and Run with it. But it is really What Is Inside That Counts. So Yea I just thought I would share My Thoughts With You All!! Have a Great Day!! Love You All!!


Peace!!

Lately....

So Basically I have not posted in a while so I thought I would fill you in on what has been going on. I have been a pretty busy lady lately work 40 hours a week every week. Than starting school soon that will be 3 evenings a week. I am going to Mesa Community College I will be taking English 102, Rock N Roll Music History, and Hip Hop Dance. So I am pretty excited. It should be fun. I am kinda nervous though because MCC will be a new school due to the fact I went to Chandler Gilbert Last Semester. Anyways that pretty much is what I have been up to lately.......


As far as on a more emotional level. I feel as though I really have been slippin up on somethings lately. Things such as the way I have been acting, talking, and stuff like that. I have not been using the greatest language lately which is not a good habit to fall in to. Also, I feel as though my walk with Christ could be better at this point in time. That thought is something that has been burdening me lately and I have been working on it and prayin about it but if you all would keep me in your prayers that would be greatly appreciated. I just feel as though I have been slipping and it is a big disappointment to myself. I know that if I dont work on it now Satan will just attack harder and I will fall harder. Also......I will not meet the right person to be with if I am slippin. I have been waiting and Relationships I have tried to have only failed pretty badly. So I know it is all on Gods timing and going through bad times has made me realize that it is not when I am ready it is when God is ready so I will patiently wait.

Also earlier this week I heard a song on the radio by PILLAR I believe it was and it was called Smiling Down And it just was pretty much exactly what I needed to hear. Pretty much that no matter the trials you are facing God is ALWAYS smiling down on you as one of his children and that he loves you no matter what and that everything will be ok. It just pretty much brightened my day! So Just Thought I would share that and Share the Video With You.

Lately.....

Wow lately alot has been going on. Finally got a fulltime job working as a receptionist. Plus getting some school done to at the same time....let me tell you it is exhausting. So many things have been going on lately. Not gonna get into it but lets just say some problemas with the fam have been stirring. I am pretty sure its just satan trying to sneak around and screw things up. Also, I have been pretty down about some things lately I have been trying to stay positive but sometimes it is kind of difficult. I mean I have a "friend" who will remain nameless who is no longer allowed to hang out with me. Which I think is totally unfair just because of rumors and untrue things people say about me one of her parentals assumes the worst. Which I dont think is really giving me a fair shot because in the bible it says something along the lines of treat others how you would want to be treated. I do not think they would like it very much if someone was just shuttin them out such as they are doing to me. But I am the bigger person and I have just let it be. Also, is it me or does everyone around me seem to be in that perfect relationship with the guy or girl they believe to be the one for them. I have had my share of dating crappy guys and I am ready to settle down and meet the right guy that god has chosen for me. But it is on his timing not mine and I know that so I am going to have to be patient.

I went to a college group at Cornerstone this past Thursday night. I really enjoy it I go with a friend of mine, and I really like it. The speaker is great the worship is awesome, and it is a good time. I am definitely going to continue going it was my second time and it was awesome.

Well thats about all I got. See Ya'll Later!! God Bless

I Need A JOb!

I am in desperate need of a job. Does anyone know of anywhere that is hiring. I am looking for front desk/Receptionist jobs. SO if anyone knows of anything PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know..

I would Greatly Appreciate it!!

Thanks

Troubles.

TO be bluntly flat out. Having issues with the fam right now. I dont exactly know whats going on but pray for me, that I would have patience, and just all that stuff. God knows I really need it right about now. I mean I know I am almost 19 still living at home and all so I have it pretty well. But I dont depend on my parents for everything. I use my money to go out and do stuff that i want to do and buy things I want. I am trying to find myself a job so that I can have money so I can do stuff and buy things for myself. I am no longer asking mommy and daddy for money to go out to the mall or go out to the movies. So I think I am pretty much depending on myself aside from the college classes and insurance my parents both paid for. But other than that I use my money for things I have or want. I dont get how there are some kids who put their parents through hell and still get everything they want (some of you may know a certain person in my fam I am speakin of), money handed to them, and gifts handed to them like their kid is an angel. I find it odd and quite hilarious that alot of those parents think that their kid is not dependent on them so much anymore. How are they not dependent? without their parents they wouldn't have half the things they have and wouldn't be able to go out and do half the things they do. Alot of these kids dont even appreciate it. I appreciate very much the things my parents do pay for. As far as depending on them for every aspect of my life not so much. But I love both my mom and dad very dearly and they are both a major part of my life. Not needing them for everything that happens in my life is understandable but I still like them to be apart of it. Well that just a littl rant for today! Well night!! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!