*~*So Much To Catch Up On*~*

Hey Yall.....As You Know I have Been looking For a Job. Unfortunately I still....Dang they weren't kidding when they said the economy was Tough huh. Anyways Been applying anywhere I can, so all I can do is keep praying and leave it in Gods hangs. Something Will Come Up Soon. Hopefully.

Other Than that My Dad and I have been working on filling out financial aid papers for school. I really would like to go back to school soon, so we are trying to get all that done quick. I have been looking at different majors and different programs I can go through to get to that major, right now I am interested in pursuing a Major in Music Business. I Love Music its Like breathing To Me....I don't think my life would be the same without it. Those who cant speak through words speak through music and when I am feeling a certain way usually i will tell someone to listen to a specific song and describe to them that the words in the song will describe exactly how I feel. Lets just say I can honestly say in a profession involving music I truly believe I could be happy doing that Until The Day I Die (Story Of The Year ha great song). I am hoping to get into promoting bands or concert events, or managing bands. Something Of The Sort would be something I would love to do for the rest of my life....Ya I know that sort of thing isnt easy to get into but you know "The Sky is The Limit" and with proper schooling I think I can make it = )


Anyways enough bout the good stuff.....with the good has to come some bad right? Of course thats the ropes of life....unfortunately. So This Ex boyfriend of mine has really be upsetting me lately.....texting me really rude and hurtful things. You would think after a break up and the discussion you dont want anything to do with eachother that he would leave me alone....but OF COURSE NOT.....its just not that easy. I keep being told if I respond to his texts I am only fueling the fire....which i suppose is probably true...becuz he wants me to get upset, and if he knows i am upset than he wins. I am so done with his immaturity...you'd think for someone being deployed next month he would be a lil bit more mature and grown up...But I guess not. But is all good...his loss not mine....out with the old in with the new. I swear Frenchy of Grease was 100% correct ha ha "The Only Guy A Girl Can Trust Is Her Daddy...Men Are Fleas on Rats...Even Worse their amoebas on fleas on rats." ha ha....So true. But I am confident that my perfect man is out there and I forever till the day I meet him will be patiently waiting. <3

Other than that I have still been going to counseling....Regularly, it is helping. But everything I have been through is going to take a while to Mend. But with Gods help it will all be healed in time. = )

Also been talking with an old friend lately. I am so glad I reconnected with her. She is such a great person, she was always there for me, and she never once has judged me for anything. I highly respect her for everything that she has gone through and everything she is doing. She is a very responsible and loving person. I would do anything for her. I thank god that me and her reconnected.

Well thats all the dish I got for now....See Ya!

*~*Its Been Awhile*~*

So I know its been a LONG time since I have blogged. I have had alot going on lately. I lost my job....Seeing has the economy is terrible right now all I have been doing all day everyday is submitting resumes. So hopefully something will turn up soon. If you Know of anything or hear of anything please let me know. = )

Aside from that..Haven't had to much going on lately. I have been thinking about alot lately. I see all these people my age around me that seem to have it all together..Steady Job, School, Good Relationships.....some are even getting married and starting a life with their significant other or high school sweetheart or whatever. I just feel like every1 around me has it so together. I mean people are getting married and starting families. I cant even seem to date someone and have a healthy stable relationship....I find myself questioning if I am ever gonna meet the guy god has for me and If i am ever going to be married and have a family. I mean I know I am only 20...but its discouraging when it seems as though everyone else your age is getting engaged, or already got married.......not to mention are in school now what they want to do and have stable jobs. I am not going to school and I have No job. Ever just feel like everything is on pause, and you're not going anywhere?

Thats pretty much how I feel right now. I mean I know I am at this point right now because its in Gods plan.....and he has something better for me but it just hasnt happened yet because it is in his timing, not mine. I just hope everything will fall into place.....Job, School, and last but not least a good guy that is capable of being respectful and having a steady stable healthy relationship.

I have been trying to not focus on all of it and just be patient.....I mean I did just lose my job and the guy i was dating. losing my job might not have been for the best but...losing the guy i was dating was definitely for the best. Let me Tell you if you think someone cares enough about you to change some things that need to be changed.....dont get your hopes up because most of em WILL NOT change. Many guys think they can just treat girls like dirt and the girl will stick around because they have already put their self esteem down so bad the girl doesnt think she can get any better for herself but girls can....I CAN and EVERY OTHER GIRL CAN! I know now after dating a few guys that it was a lesson learned ( i wont say time wasted cuz that is mean) But honestly most of the guys I have dated have just made me realize everything I dont want in a guy or in a relationship. So its kind of a blessing in disguise in a way. I know when I meet the guy for me I will be everything he ever wanted. Kinda like the song below describes. I heard this band on the radio and I absolutely love their songs. Especially this one....great lyrics.




Anyways.....I just thought I would share kind whats been up with me lately. Well Hope Everyone Had A Great 3 Day Weekend.

Change

A Song I Been Digging lately.....Enjoy!

Great Song

March 5th Baby I am going to see these guys with my Daddy and I couldnt be more STOKED about it. They are so talented....ha this is one of my new fave songs lol. = )

Enjoy!

*~*Things Change....People Change*~*

As of lately I have been having definite problems in the friend area still. Its So unfortunate that when you think someone is a good person, and true honest friend....they prove you so wrong. This has happened to me recently people I have been close to for years just turn around and backstab you...it really is a big reality check. I mean first and foremost i dont understand how guys can throw around terms like Whore, Slut, Skank, etc. (you get the jist)and think that it does not hurt anyone. I now understand what my parents meant when they would tell me to think before I speak because you might end up saying something stupid that hurts someone as people have done to me. What these people dont know is that because of their words I have sat up crying myself to sleep on occasion. Whoever said Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones but Words can never hurt me obviously had no idea what they were talking bout. The words of a handful of people I thought were my friends really hurt me, more than I could have imagined. So I guess this is a new start....I am looking for new people in my life. New friends. A New Beginning. I had Trust issues already but now i have them even more.....I am going to watch who I let close to me. I Have learned to Trust.....God, Myself, My Parents, and a select Few friends that have earned my trust. I am not just going to off the bat think people are good people and trust them anymore. Trust needs to be earned.

So to all of you that I thought were my friends that I thought were good people. Nice try....trying to bring me down..Sorry it did not work. I am not going to go chasing for your friendship. The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs. The Videos Below Go Out To You Guys.....






Heres To Making A Change In Life....= )

*~*Can You Actually Trust Anyone*~*

I thought This video Went Pretty Well with The Post So check it out (disney artists but great song lol)!






I have been going through a hell of a rough time lately. Yea I have friends that have been there for me through it all. Yet I have some friends that have been running their mouth and let me tell ya if They ran as much as their mouth did they would be is Awesome shape. People I thought were my friends are now turning around talking trash about me. People that I put my trust in have now turned around and threw it all away. It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to break it. I have learned that I can trust no one aside from MYSELF, MY FAMILY, and GOD, and Those select FEW that have EARNED MY TRUST!

Recently I have come to realize people are not always who you thought they were. People could care less about anyone elses feelings aside from their own. People will do anything to belittle you just to make themselves feel as though they are good. As of recently I have been struggling with some issues with friends. Due to the mere fact people are not always who you believed them to be. Many people put on a front...wear a mask, hiding the "REAL" them. I have never worn a mask....People can say what they please about me but at least I am not out "FAKING" who I am. Yea at points In my life I was ashamed of how I was acting and Some of the things I did....But I never acted as though I was anything else than Me.

As of right now....I am in shock due to some situations that have been going on with certain friends of mine. Not only do I feel Betrayed...but I feel as thought some are being shady and trying "MASK" situations that are going on. If these people are ones I truly consider my friends they would have no reason to "MASK" any situation....they would be able to just be honest. At this point I find myself sitting here as I type questioning if I need to reconsider who my "REAL" friends are....and whether or Not I should search for a new group of people to hang out with. I constantly find myself giving certain people chances over and over again and they keep messing up again and again. Yes, I forgive them....but do I want to continue to hang around certain people that drag me down? Not So Much.

So with that said I ask yall to Keep me In your prayers about this situation.

I challenge you all...Be REAL Be YOU...you may be Looked down upon, and/or Talked about..but on the upside at least your being YOU and thats the exactly what everyone should WANT!

*~*Wait For Me*~*

This Is an Amazing Song, Amazing lyrics, from an amazing Artist. Rebecca St. James is a wonderful singer/songwriter...Not to mention a wonderful artist. I actually just read a book by her that was a Top-Seller. It was called "Wait For Me" and she actually wrote the book after writing this song! The book was very good...usually I pick up a book and get bored with it and never finish reading it but this book was amazing. I read it and actually had a hard time putting it down as opposed to having a hard time picking it up and continuing to read it. It talks about waiting for God to put the right person in your life and remaining pure till marriage. Which is something that I think young people these days really struggle with. Honestly I think everyone struggles with temptation but when I sit and really think about it...When I meet "The One" than he will be so happy that I was able to stay strong and remain pure till I united in marriage with him. I just think that when I do meet "The One" that it will make us so much happier and draw us so much closer.

So this really kind of opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking...I mean I always really thought about it but didnt reallu understand the realness of it until this book..

SO just thought I would share with you all..

Peace!